From a friend advising on the process of creating (becoming):
Time: it takes more than a summer or a year to build a book or a body of work. Some people work fast, and you may at some point. Some don't. Don't say if I haven't done it by. . . . . .I can't do it. You've made the commitment, now follow the process. Just follow the process. You can make something that lasts; you can cut through time. I don't know about the world lavishing praise or money or a timeline, just don't look in the mirror too much, unless that is what you are writing about/painting, just let it happen. You can always revise. Just having the time to think and to take in art is a blessing. The work will come, maybe when you aren't looking!! Just leave time for it and allow the process.
From another friend who has saved my ass more than once, and always when I'm far away. He holds down a crazy busy job and yet he fired this off to me within five minutes of my cry for help.
A few things I would try...
1st - Breathe.
2nd - Do not ever decide to stay in for coffee, go out.
3rd - Go see live music, drink beers and meet people.
4th - As you'll be back here soon enough to figure out the work stuff, allow yourself 1 hour max of job search every day, and do it early in the morning.
5th - As interesting as your blog is (and it is, i've been reading, even the post you deleted a few hours later), do not place it as a priority. You can write about your berlin experience after. Now is time to gather...
6th - In down time, remember how many good friends you have here and there, and that none of those would ever let you down.
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