Cure

(Photo: detail of work by Wayne Cahill Barker)

Sol leWitt to Eva Hesse:

You seem the same as always, and being you, hate it. Don’t! Learn to say “Fuck You” to the world once in a while. You have every right to. Just stop thinking, worrying, looking over your shoulder, wondering, doubting, fearing, hurting, hoping for some easy way out, struggling, gasping, confusing, itching, scratching, mumbling, bumbling, grumbling, humbling, stumbling, rumbling, rambling, gambling, tumbling, scumbling, scrambling, hitching, hatching, bitching, moaning, groaning, honing, boning, horse shitting, hair splitting, nit picking, piss trickling, nose sticking, ass gouging, eyeball poking, back scratching, searching, perching, besmirching, grinding, grinding, grinding away at yourself. Stop it and just DO.

…try and tickle something inside you, your ‘weird’ humor. You belong in the most secret part of you. Don’t worry about cool, make your own uncool. Make your own, your own world. If you fear, make it work for you—draw and paint your own fear and anxiety. And stop worrying about big, deep things such as to decide on a purpose and way of life, a consistent approach to even some impossible end or even an imagined end. You must practice being stupid, dumb, unthinking, empty. Then you will be able to DO.

I have much confidence in you and even though you are tormenting yourself, the work you do is very good. Try to do some BAD work. The worst you can think of and see what happens, but mainly relax and let everything go to hell. You are not responsible for the world—you are only responsible for your work, so do it. And don’t think that your work has to conform to any idea or flavor. It can be anything you want it to be. But if life would be easier for you if you stopped working, then stop. Don’t punish yourself.

However, I think that it is so deeply engrained in you that it would be easier to DO.

On building bridges

I'm creating a special category of posts for my friends' amazing words (filed in Smart Words: Yours). . .




I remain convinced that a partnership is not an easy "finally I made it" kinda thing. Huge chasms of misunderstanding are the norm. The tossing of a line (and reciprocal catching of said line), to build a friggin bridge is where the beauty lies. Exploratory love is easy and BIG; but post-bridge-building love is where the action is. The lines can be quite heavy, at times. But, we humans are quite incredible in our ability to become adept for that which we really want.

On exchanging panic for process

So many of you have sent me insightful, thoughtful and soul-lifting messages. I'd like to share them (filed in Smart Words: Yours) . . .





From a friend advising on the process of creating (becoming):



Time: it takes more than a summer or a year to build a book or a body of work. Some people work fast, and you may at some point. Some don't. Don't say if I haven't done it by. . . . . .I can't do it. You've made the commitment, now follow the process. Just follow the process. You can make something that lasts; you can cut through time. I don't know about the world lavishing praise or money or a timeline, just don't look in the mirror too much, unless that is what you are writing about/painting, just let it happen. You can always revise. Just having the time to think and to take in art is a blessing. The work will come, maybe when you aren't looking!! Just leave time for it and allow the process.




From another friend who has saved my ass more than once, and always when I'm far away. He holds down a crazy busy job and yet he fired this off to me within five minutes of my cry for help.



A few things I would try...

1st - Breathe.
2nd - Do not ever decide to stay in for coffee, go out.
3rd - Go see live music, drink beers and meet people.
4th - As you'll be back here soon enough to figure out the work stuff, allow yourself 1 hour max of job search every day, and do it early in the morning.
5th - As interesting as your blog is (and it is, i've been reading, even the post you deleted a few hours later), do not place it as a priority. You can write about your berlin experience after. Now is time to gather...
6th - In down time, remember how many good friends you have here and there, and that none of those would ever let you down.