Cure

(Photo: detail of work by Wayne Cahill Barker)

Sol leWitt to Eva Hesse:

You seem the same as always, and being you, hate it. Don’t! Learn to say “Fuck You” to the world once in a while. You have every right to. Just stop thinking, worrying, looking over your shoulder, wondering, doubting, fearing, hurting, hoping for some easy way out, struggling, gasping, confusing, itching, scratching, mumbling, bumbling, grumbling, humbling, stumbling, rumbling, rambling, gambling, tumbling, scumbling, scrambling, hitching, hatching, bitching, moaning, groaning, honing, boning, horse shitting, hair splitting, nit picking, piss trickling, nose sticking, ass gouging, eyeball poking, back scratching, searching, perching, besmirching, grinding, grinding, grinding away at yourself. Stop it and just DO.

…try and tickle something inside you, your ‘weird’ humor. You belong in the most secret part of you. Don’t worry about cool, make your own uncool. Make your own, your own world. If you fear, make it work for you—draw and paint your own fear and anxiety. And stop worrying about big, deep things such as to decide on a purpose and way of life, a consistent approach to even some impossible end or even an imagined end. You must practice being stupid, dumb, unthinking, empty. Then you will be able to DO.

I have much confidence in you and even though you are tormenting yourself, the work you do is very good. Try to do some BAD work. The worst you can think of and see what happens, but mainly relax and let everything go to hell. You are not responsible for the world—you are only responsible for your work, so do it. And don’t think that your work has to conform to any idea or flavor. It can be anything you want it to be. But if life would be easier for you if you stopped working, then stop. Don’t punish yourself.

However, I think that it is so deeply engrained in you that it would be easier to DO.